Great Expectations

 

I should cry…

In feeling so extremely annoyed with expectations and the perceived failure of my hearts true desires over such long time, i cannot even stand the title of this post.

There is nothing ‘great’ about expectations. They are dual, ambiguous, never certain.

They are based on preconceived ideas, memories, projections, hopes, wishes, not at all connected to any sort of reality.. this now, being the ‘conscious’ expectations we have..

The other part is the dangerous part, the unconscious expectations.. the ones we fear to admit to, the ones we really believe in, not necessarily knowingly, not necessarily willingly.

The latter, in fact, becomes the reality that manifests in the end.. and the conscious, the first, is the one that causes disappointment.. the ‘wish’ we had that wasn’t fulfilled, because we ‘knew’ deep down what reality was and what would be.

Promptly, alarmed by what I’ve just written, I urge myself to make a decision based on this blatant opinion I’ve just raised.

What then? If I’m expecting this, but I’m wishing for that, and I’m knowing this actually, but maybe I’m hoping for that… and this time can’t be like last time, not possible, but it always works out this way, so it will be as it were.. hopefully optimistic, cynical, silly, silly stupor.

I claim oblivion.

To expect, is to speculate, and it is risky since we attach and invest too much, not knowing, hoping, caring, believing, mindconfu**ulating the issue as such.

…passive, passive apathy… waiting to see… not great at all.

thinking over thinking…

instead of creating

CREATING our outcomes.

That.. “Creating”

THAT… CREATING… is GREAT!

I rest.

 

– for Writing Challenge: Great Expectations

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